Ok so today has actually been pretty awesome with the boys. We all three laid on the couch this afternoon and ended up taking a nap. No one was in trouble I was just snuggling with R and he fell asleep in my arms and J was laying up against my legs and it was just so nice and comfortable and I ended up drifting off to sleep as well.
The only problems today was J decided when he got up that he did not want to be touched by mama and he refused to do his strong sitting properly, so he got to do sloppy sitting improperly for double the time. R did a wonderful job with his strong sitting and I am really proud of him. I still am not sure what is going on between the two of them. J has been much more defiant about doing anything that even smells of therapeutic parenting. R however has just went right along with what I asked and has been more sneaky in his defiance (ie playing dumb or "forgetting" the rules). But for the most part there has been much more hard parenting with J. Maybe I am just getting played big time. I am still trying to figure all of this out.
My big problem at the moment though is getting everyone on board. I am the type of person who takes on a project and tackles it full force and does the best I can to get it done. However I feel like a lot I am having to pull along family members who are not as quiet on board. I know our therapist says therapeutic parenting will not work if everyone is not on board. So do I just not do therapeutic parenting? Am I doing more harm than good trying to enforce rules when no one else is? I think my husband just really does not get it (ie he has never been a disciplinarian and now is needing to step up to the plate because our therapist says mommy is not supposed to really discipline.) Nana has been caught in some out and out lies (ie telling daddy one thing and telling me another) and I really do not think she has her heart into doing the program. So any ideas on how to get other people in your family on board so you don't feel like you are dragging them along.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I can only imagine how hard it is to get the family on board but I know it is important... You will need to sit down and have a heart to heart with the important people, and figure out how they have to change to help.
ReplyDeleteHey Crystal...I'm here too! Rooting for you. I am so so sorry you are going thru this. Things are just not how they used to be. I mourn for that old time :(
ReplyDeleteCorrect me if I am wrong but with RAD kids aren't you never supposed to have them do therapy alone with the therapist? Isn't it always supposed to be the parent/s and child together? I thought someone had told me that.
I was there the day those boys came in I am so very sorry this has happened to them.
Hey Steph,
ReplyDeleteThanks for being there. You have been on this journey since the beginning. If you had not introduced us to the boys then we would of never known about them. And we are going to an attachement therapist to work with Rob and I not R and J. But starting in the next couple of weeks we will be going to an attachement center here in Atlanta to work with all of us. It really is a god send and they often don't take clients. We were afraid they were not going to call us back. However luckily they did. They pick and choose their clients and we were just one of the lucky few to get a call.