Update (Long Post)

Sorry it has been so long since I posted. It has been a crazy time around my household lately. I am just going to do a quick bulleted list to kinda update everyone about what has been happening.

• Saturday two weeks ago I.was.done. I had had it with therapeutic parenting, with feeling like I was on a bandwagon by myself and trying to pull everyone on board. I cried on my husband's shoulder and told him I just could not do this anymore. I felt like he was refusing to discipline, my mom and dad were against me and thought I was the problem (ie my mom once told me I was the reason the boys had a problem) and the boys hated my guts too so I might as well just give up. I was feeling beat down big time. My wonderful husband though just hugged me and told me the next day I was taking a nice long break.
• On Sunday two weeks ago I went and had my nails and toes done. It was wonderfully relaxing and I did NOT feel one bit guilty about the break. Mom for her sanity needs a break every once in a while. And I will selfishly admit I tried hard not to think about my boys for one second.
• I was off work on Monday and Tuesday so it was me and the boys all day. I swear I think my oldest one really wants to work the program. It is like he has been abused for so long he is just dying to cling to me, but also doesn't know how. Our therapist says he is a very unusual RAD kid, his rage is right there on the surface and he doesn't care who sees it and also he LOVES the structure of the program. So to our therapist he is a bit of a conundrum. However our youngest is your typical RAD child. I understand now how people went crazy from Chinese Water Torture.
• Tuesday my parents came down to a therapy session. While my dad is now pretty much on board, my mom is like lagging behind the band wagon and trying to catch up. She really is struggling so please keep her in your prayers.
• Tuesday night we got the call the Rob's father passed away. So from Wednesday to Saturday therapeutic parenting kinda went out the window. I am hoping it did not set us back too much.
• Saturday was another big blow out with my mom. Every time you say something to her about something that needs to be changed she tries to point out to me everything I am doing wrong. I love my mother dearly and we have never had a relationship where we fight at all (that was my dad and I's department but always done lovingly and we both love a heated good debate). However since starting therapeutic parenting I believe that we have fought more then we have in my entire life. Both her and my husband have said very hurtful things to me in the three months since the boys came home. They have always been my most solid support, so some days not only do I feel like I am fight for my boys lives I also feel like I am in a fight for my relationship with my mother and my husband. I can understand why people get divorced when dealing with RAD children.
• Sunday was another day of more Chinese water torture. My youngest took five hours to decide he suddenly remember how to fold towels. He then folded his five towels and wash cloths in five minutes.
• Monday no major incidents or happenings to report.
• Tuesday we went to a specialist (we waited for two months to see) who told us he could be of no help but to him our boys did have a classic case of RAD. (He also told us he would never recommend anyone to adopt a child over the age of 1. Where was he when we started this journey before our hearts were involved? And yes I know God choose these boys for our family at this time, but sometimes I just want to yell "WHY GOD? I can't do this.) He also gave us some resources so it wasn't a complete waste of time. We also bought the boys a little inflatable pool that took almost all afternoon to blow up, but it was worth it to watch them crawl around in it. Almost a normal family activity, except for the fact that my oldest one told me when just him and I were blowing up the pool alone that the reason he slept with his head covered is because he did not want to see the monster's shadow. To me it sounds like he was sexually abused (from my training something a child of abuse would say).
• Wednesday was a pretty typical day. A few little incidents but nothing too major.
• Thursday I felt like I was a horrible mother. I sent my child to bed with eating nothing besides a few crackers. However he had done a typical control behavior. R was eating and I told J he had to start eating before R finished. Well as soon as R was done eating J picked up his fork to start eating (I mean as soon as his plate was picked up from the table.) We told J that he lost his opportunity to eat. He did get a few crackers because he had to take his antibiotic and we were not going to give it to him on an empty stomach.
• Friday the boys talked and talked to Nana about Haiti. Our boys suffered horrible abuse in Haiti at the hands of the orphanage workers who we entrusted to take care of them. This happened when they were moved from Port Au Prince out to Les Cayes. They have told us a few things here and there, but more and more come out almost daily. Both of my children sleep with their heads covered up even though they are sweating to death. They told Nana today that the reason they did that is because people used to come spit in their mouths while they were sleeping if they didn't. Also they made my oldest sleep in a separate room from the other children while there. This also leads me to believe that he was sexually abused. We already knew they had been beaten with a belt. Other children there would make up stories on my oldest one and then he would be punished (He gets highly upset if he is falsely accused of something, like I mean major denial and crying, etc more than just a normal child). There is more but it just breaks my heart that someone would do this to children. I would never recommend people to adopt from the same orphanage we used.

Well I think that is all caught up for now. Sorry I was so long in writing.